Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Resilient.......

Found this leaf on the windshield of my car on Sunday - hopefully it means cooler weather isn't that far off. Went to the graveside service this morning for Eileen's Mom, Ginny. After I grabbed a bite to eat, I started driving out toward the country to wind down and decided what I really needed was a little "scoota-pootin" as Mama would call it. The AC in the car was blasting, some soul music was playing and I was totally enjoying the freedom of not having any idea where I was. Maybe I just needed to be alone enough to cry some. It was nice to see so many lovely older homes and landscapes before I pulled out my GPS and headed back toward home. Ruth came over to let us know about her brother - not good news. It turns out his cancer is in more places than we thought. They did some tests and should know something next month. Ruth asked me to ride back home with her for two weeks or so. As tempting as it is, I can't run away. As hard as it may seem, I just have to work harder to be even more resilient....re·sil·ient/riˈzilyənt/Adjective
1.(of a substance or object) Able to recoil or spring back into shape after bending, stretching, or being compressed.
2. (of a person or animal) Able to withstand or recover quickly from difficult conditions.
To be honest, I'm not feeling too resilient - feeling a little "brittle". I'm not sleeping well at all and should be in bed but laying there just makes me feel sadder so maybe if I write something down, it will ease my mind. I spoke with Page earlier and they were getting everything ready for Bentley's surgery....I started to say in the morning but it already is morning isn't it? I love this sign that was in a beach house we stayed in with some family several years ago. I need to make one for my house only it would be a lie - I can't remember the last time I "felt" like my house was really "clean". Let me see, I got up early, prepared and printed invoices for BigD, got dressed real quick and took salad fixings over to Gail's to put together for the pioneer school lunch, cut two cakes into slices and put them on individual plates and helped her pack her car, ran back home, threw on a dress and some lipstick, drove to the cemetery and got lost in it because it is so stinking big, went to lunch with two friends, went scoota-pootin, got pedicure, picked up groceries, drank some wine with Ruth and then ate a bite. Went to bed and couldn't sleep but can't clean while BigD is sleeping so guess I'll just go back to bed and try to go to sleep again because I have a full day in service tomorrow. Hopefully things will be better once it isn't so hot and "brittle".

2 comments:

  1. I've missed you :) I read the sign in the picture before reading your blog and I thought the same thing -I can't have a sign like that because it would be a lie. Ah well. My best memories with my family growing up, are of us -just driving- to towns past our house, places we've never seen before, country that was so unfamiliar. It's good to cry, it's a healer. Is your stomach feeling any better?

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  2. Sorry!! Miss you, looking forward to Friday. Hope the cry helped. I've been feeling weepy for the last couple of weeks not sure why. Love you

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