Friday, December 23, 2011

Taking control ..... yeah - right...

Had a pretty rough night and early morning with mucous, scabs and pain in mouth and throat. Page ordered several more tubes but we think we may need another machine - this one doesn't have the power it did.  I also had a problem with two meds getting caught in my throat area and that cause much of the serious problem in the night - SO - decided to forgo the nausea med that causes me to have nausea lately just will not go down and so far, have done okay.  We crushed up the antibiotic insides and most of it went down.  NOW - I'm starting to feel that sick feeling so thinking about seeing if my GP will call in something else for nausea - maybe a suppository. SO tired of meds - can't even begin to tell you how tired I am.  I really, really don't want to do the nausea pills I have now though. Might call my pharmacist first and see what she might recommend.
Here is a picture of our neighbor's dog - Rex. He always barks whenever anyone walks across my yard. He is pretty isn't he? I miss having the dog on the other side who would also bark if someone came through the back on that side too.
I had to share this picture of my old friend - Lora and her young friend. This was from the convention and I keep forgetting to ask if the coordinated their outfits before they came. Two beautiful women -
Also Dee with her new step-son-in-law from the wedding. My oldest niece whom I have loved from the moment I laid eyes on her. I was her personal slave when she was little. Yeah - she's still bossy. Just kidding Moni! I had to toss some of the old flowers out but the amaryllis and most of the ones in the green square pot are still doing okay. My schedule for having the cancer removed from my nose has been set for March 12th. Yeah - another surgery - can't wait. SO - who is really in control here? Evidently not me because I'm starting to feel really, really sick to my stomach and may have to re-think my plans. On the other hand - it doesn't feel that different from 1:30am this morning when I got sick. Who knows...we'll see said the blind man.....
Leah said they send Kurt to WVA to work today so she will be very surprised if they come before tomorrow and will let me know when she knows when he knows - who knows?

Thursday, December 22, 2011


Where was I? Man - time passes and yet stands still at the same time. Things came to a head last night and I finally had two or three melt-downs. Several on the phone with medical personnel and a dear friend who let me download like a big ole baby and one or two big ones with BigD. Poor Page - she is probably torn between hating to leave the two of us to play nice and not wanting to come back to the two of us "working" at playing nice. I think the big one BigD and I had was the best one because we both got to say what we wanted to say and guess what - the world didn't come to an end.
The beautiful necklace Page made for dahlink Katarina - the earrings are pretty too. The group just dropped by for one to use the potty and to let me meet a new sister in our congregation. Seems very nice - of course I had just gotten out of the shower and my pitiful hair is wet. Wow - started this entry several days ago and just now getting on the computer for the first time about a hour ago.
The Princess in all her glory - not long before she knocked the liquid Oxycodone off the table onto new chair and carpet. BigD found out Greased Lightening does do a pretty good job -thanks Gail.
The other Princess in all her glory torturing me and her Mommy because we kept telling her "not to pick her nose" so of course what does she love doing???? Oh yeah - the next few years are going to be so much fun to watch.
So WHO in the house is allergic to cats? OF COURSE - Roseanne! And WHO does Princess Miya HAVE to rub on, lay on, get as close to her face on? Roseanne!!!! Bad Miya - Bad Girl.
My beautiful new earrings Page made me! She also cleaned my little diamond studs for me. Almost had to re-pierce those holes and they are still a little sore.
Beautiful flowers Karen brought me a long time ago - they took their time opening and are still beautiful - wilting a little now but still holding their own. The Paperwhite Page got me isn't doing anything yet.
Two old friends I thoroughly enjoy stopping by this past weekend! Eugene and Marty stopped by with a nice gift from an anonymous giver and to talk about the upcoming pioneer meeting tomorrow afternoon. It has been so nice to see a few more of the friends lately. My babies will all be here this weekend - can't wait. Feel bad for BigD - he is suffering with a bad cold we think. I know - I'm just hoping beyond all hope that I don't catch it.
I can't believe I haven't gotten a good picture of our new furnace/AC system yet but the weather has been quite rainy, gloomy, and sad.  The new system is so quiet and works so well.  It has been needed for a really long time.  No one can accuse us of not using stuff up!  SO -- will sign off with another view of the glorious flower from a few days ago when the sun was shining.

Sunday, December 18, 2011


Life slowed down enough today for me to reflect a little on the past few days.  Sadly, one of those reflections brings feelings of deep sorrow.  When I was a young teenager, my cousin married a young girl I fell in love with the first day I met her. My mother loved her too which I'm sure influenced me a bit. This is a picture of me and him at his Mom's grave side service in 2004. My Aunt had called me from her home in Florida several months before she got sick and came home. It was Dink who called me from the hospital to let me know she had come back home, when she got very sick and when she died.  She was my Dad's youngest sister and divorced so we saw her more often than most of the other Aunts and Uncles on Daddy's side of the family. My Dad's Mom lived with us off and on during my youth and they would come to visit her there. I remember him always being a part of my childhood.  Once we grew up - we saw little of each other as it usually goes in families. When they first got married, they lived in one of the big old homes downtown that had been turned into apartments. One night they came over to our house and when they got ready to leave, asked me to go home and spend the night with them.  That was pretty exciting for a teenager (they were a few years older then me but she was a teenager too).  That old house had very tall ceilings and no heat and it was freezing cold! Finally my cousin and his wife felt so sorry for me laying on the sofa alone with their one blanket (I think they heard my teeth chattering and they were freezing too) so that they asked me to jump in their bed with them.  Boy - they didn't have to ask twice - I was only about 14 so we really were kids but my dumb cousin made a stupid joke about having two women in his bed when in all reality - he had two "girls" in his bed.  I'll have to say Dink was a lot warmer than Gene and I were because she was in the middle.  She finally asked why we kept turning over and we all died laughing because he and I were turning over to get the other side of our bodies warm against her.  I don't think anyone got much sleep and we were up and out of there on the way home to Mama's for breakfast early if I recall correctly.  After that - their lives went in the separate direction
of working and being parents to two beautiful babies and I finished school.  We lost touch after they separated and divorced but would still see each other at family functions - until I ran into her one day out in service.  The kids and I would drop in every so often when we were on that side of town and I got to see her kids a little that way.  Dink called me this past week to let me know her beautiful 47 year old son died suddenly of a heart attack last Sunday.  I know she was in shock and just calling everyone she could think of to tell them the horrific news. This sweet girl had found out about my cancer when she called some one and  was in double shock and that made me feel so sad because she kept apologizing and I haven't really been able to be there for her at all. I was looking at his obituary on-line tonight and realized he was born on my birth date when I turned 18. I just can't get them out of my mind. When I read some of the comments about him - I think I would have liked him a lot.  His sister is beautiful like her Mom isn't she?  I'll always feel sad my children didn't get to know this part of my family and that we weren't close any longer.  I'll always feel happy Dink came in my life and that something clicked with us that has endured more years apart than closely together. I pray she will find a measure of 
of peace as time passes. From the things I've read and heard, he was well loved by those who knew him and had a happy life. I look forward to feeling better so that soon, I'll be able to see her and know for myself she is doing okay.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

One more radiation, three medical appointments and the beat goes on, and on and on......

BigD just walked into the living room and said, "you have got to  be kidding me". I had to laugh because he just entered my new world. He thought it was morning and it is only 11:52PM.  Yesterday's treatment was extended a little due to the machine needing some work done on it.  We had our weekly visit with Dr's. B and B and our nice nurse.  Her biggest concern was bowel movements - or lack thereof. Please - wish that was my biggest concern.  After they finished with the machine, it took longer to get me in the mask and set up than to do the actual treatment. Rie and her Mom came to clean the house yesterday so it was nice coming home to a clean house - especially the kitchen and bathroom.   We got home about the same time that Fran drove up from Oak Island and Keith came in from field service.  We all enjoyed getting caught up.  Fran brought her juicer and some fruit and BigD talked her into staying for spaghetti and Italian bread with use (them). Fran also brought me a little gift that I LOVE.
I loved telling her I already had one just like it but now have one for the other coffee hole in my car! RubyD called and I asked her to come over and visit with me and Fran. Once she got here, we talked her into staying for dinner. BigD rode over to Boyd's for a beer (or two).  BigD had already started warming up his meaty spaghetti sauce and this is them watching the pasta water boil. Fran made her delicious Italian
(buttery/garlicky) bread and it all smelled too good. It was nice listening to them talk about things other than ME and how I FEEL!  My sleep pattern has been so far off it isn't funny.  After BigD got home, they all ate together while I drank some Ensure - yum.  We begged Fran to spend the night but Ash was expecting her and we understood she wanted to be with her new twin grand-sons and to help out as much as she can.  RubyD agreed to come back Friday to spend the night with us. That made me happy because I'll know she got enough sleep (for some reason I thought she had to work the next day.)
I think being around BigD and having him stress to her how much he would love to have her to please come stay over-night from time to time made her feel more comfortable so she will come over this Friday and get to spend some time with Page and me and sleep good for a change.  I am so proud of Rubyd - she plans to start regular auxiliary pioneering in January now that she has changed her work schedule.  She is so encouraging to me when I look at her and how good she feels right now after going through some pretty rough chemo.  Rie and her Mom re-arranged some of the flowers I've gotten while they were here - saving the best for as long as we can.  Love me some fresh flowers hate they only last a little while.  Love that almost as much as I love clean floors, tubs, showers, sinks and toilets.  BigD and I stripped the day-bed and plan to put it back together tomorrow.  That is where Cody will be sleeping when he gets here in a few weeks.  I plan to set up a bedside table with a lamp for him to use.  BigD said the new gas furnace/AC should be up and running next week!  Woo Hoo.Very happy about that - mostly because BigD is very happy.  I was SO sleepy at 7:33pm that when BigD came into the bedroom, I asked him to climb in with me for a few minutes.  We both went to sleep after which I had a coughing spell around 11:45PM.  I was wide-awake after that and it was then that he walked into the living room amazed that he had been asleep that long in the bed.  Welcome to my world.  I'll be awake for awhile, but hopefully, I will fall back to sleep early enough that I'll get better sleep tomorrow night.  I love the small collage above - one of AJ  - a fresh new slip life who reminds me so much of her Nani, one of a husband helping his wife in her wheelchair after her radiation therapy, two of the scar everyone says looks so good on my neck but still feels tres' strange to me, one of the first blisters on my lip that has never completely healed and one of a new day at the coast - all scenes that have played a huge role in my life since this past August.  Page will get to meet Dr. Ready with us at 9:30AM on Friday and then with Dr. Hathorn at 10am on Monday.  I also just received notice of another appointment on January 4th at 11:30 with Dr. Brizel (Radiation). And the beat goes on......the beat goes on......yaannnaa yaannnaa yaaaaaaaa - the beat goes on..

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Nice weekend winding down.....

It has been so nice having Leah with me this weekend after such a rough week.  The bad side effects continued and ended with us being in the hospital Thursday and Friday from 9am until after 3-4pm receiving fluids, pain meds and treatments.  On Friday the two doctors put their heads together and found a nausea medicine I could keep down long enough for it to work.  When I looked at the side effects of it, it was a little scary so I spoke with my pharmacist and Sher and they assured me the short period I would be using it wouldn't be bad and so far it has been okay.  BigD left for the coast at 4am Saturday and had a great time fishing with his friends.  I was so happy he got to go.  Leah has taken very good care of me - we watched movies on Saturday and just hung out getting caught up.
I also got some beautiful flowers this weekend - some "just because" and some for our "46th anniversary". Leah also bought BigD his own pair of "crocks" and me a pair of my favorite bedroom shoes. She also brought her Mom's steam cleaner down and cleaned our "nasty" living room carpet. One place is destined to be stained so I told her to just give up on that one. The picture doesn't do the flowers credit - they are all beautiful. For those of you who read my blog - thank you to: Patsy; Samantha, Leah and Kurt (including the special card); Lori, Paul, Tadashi and Brandon; Karen; Lise and Chris; Deborah and Matt. Ann and Lee came over Saturday for a nice visit and brought me some special tea blends and BigD chocolate covered cherries for our anniversary. Wm Walker also dropped by on Saturday with my KM's so we all enjoyed visiting and getting caught up. I did pay for it later by losing my voice but it was worth it. Leif and Erin came by today with some left-over Ensure and as always, it was nice being with them. LinLin also dropped in on their way home from the meeting.  It was nice being able to listen in today - I was so sick Thursday there was just no way.  SO - as they were taking the mask off on Friday after my treatment, one of my technicians whispered in my ear, "okay - it is getting rougher now but you only have four more treatments - you can do it".  After we got back to my area and the curtains were pulled almost closed, BigD and I saw a woman walk by and we both recognized her right away.  It was ArleneG - she was there with her husband.  He walked with her up to visit with me for a few minutes.  He was there for his first visit so hopefully he got good news.  BigD and I were talking about how long I have known him - I remember teaching him how to drive with straight drive in my little blue VW beetle when he was going for his license.  They both look great.  Leah told me Page2 had called several times when I was taking a nap so I called her back and her Papa told me she was in the bath.  She finally called and got me and sang me the sweetest song she had just for me.  Can't wait til we are all together in a few weeks.  I hope I have been getting enough fluids this weekend and will not have to be "hooked-up" all day anymore.  Once I get the phone call letting me know that Leah is home safe and sound - I'll be able to sleep better.  Have a great weekend everyone.........

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Happy 46th Anniversary BigD.......

WOW - 46 years BigD and I have been married!  This year we are purchasing a brand spanking new Gas HVAC system as our gift to each other. It should be up and running no later than Tuesday.  Ann's lovely family sent us a beautiful bouquet of flowers which I'll highlight later today.  Woke up around 1:22am and couldn't get back to sleep so decided to stay up until BigD gets up to head down to the coast for a day of fishing with his buddies.  Leah drove down for the weekend earlier tonight night.  I'll write more later..........

Friday, December 2, 2011

9 Treatments down - 5 more scheduled......

Okay - it has started.  Some of the side effects they tried to prepare me for.  Nausea was the first one and now both sides of my throat are raw beyond belief (especially the left side where most of the surgery took place) and hurts unbelievably to swallow anything a lot of times.  Sher called earlier this week and said she was coming over to make me smoothies one day and we picked today.
Now you might be saying - big deal - but you know what? It IS a big deal. This is a woman who works full-time, was out in service all day today, lives several towns away, went to the grocery store before and after she got here, fixed two smoothies to find one I could drink, brought supper for BigD, rubbed my feet with lotion and cheered me up unbelievably. She also got our old flashlight, used the handle of a spoon and took a good look at my pitiful throat. BigD was totally "smitten" by the time she left even though she popped him his flu shot. He was just talking to Kurt about her and telling him how wonderful she is. Yep - she has a new fan. I already was one. Thank you Sher - and yes - the nausea med did help tonight.  I'm also happy to say I made it to the meeting last night.  RubyD met me at the back door where BigD dropped me off and we sat in the library.  I started feeling pretty sick before the end but made it and got to speak to some people. RubyD brought me home and I was tired but so happy I made it. Keith has been SO supportive through all of this - he came over and walked with me one day and I leaned down and picked a tiny yellow dandelion out of the yard and said, "aren't yellow flowers so happy?" and so what did he bring me this week? Yep - a sweet bouquet of "happy" flowers! Such a sweet young man. I also want to share a picture from last weekend when Ann came over with the kids. Biscuit has fallen in love with my children's "OLD" green rocking chair.   You can also see the little stash of toys she finds in the back room.  I don't have many left for kids her age but
she seems okay
playing with those few.  What a pistol she is. I know Ann is enjoying every moment with her. I can't believe how much she has grown. So here I am - 9 treatments in and all next week has been scheduled.  I'm still trying not to anticipate the worst that can come but deal with what is already happening.  I'm grateful to have such supportive family and friends to encourage me.  Leah just called me to tell me she is coming down next weekend - to see us, for our 46th anniversary and to bring her Mom's carpet steamer to clean my pitiful carpet in the living room.  Man - it needs it.  What are we doing for our anniversary?  Well - I considered asking for some 1/2 (each ear) carat diamond studs like Page1's but we are getting a new gas furnace/air conditioner.  Yeah - that's where we are in life - diamonds or furnace.  No contest.  I think they will be putting it in next week so BigD and I may be sleeping somewhere else for several nights.  SO glad this week is over and I have a two day break - I'm not one to wish my life away like this - but really - SO GLAD.