I'm feeling a little bit skeered......

So today has been a pretty day but sadly, I don't feel any better. So why am I skeered? Because I asked BigD to bring me today's funny paper (because I wanted to work the puzzle too) and he brought me Sunday's funny paper. I was shocked! I said - Is today Sunday? I thought it was Saturday! I missed hearing the public talk but at least I got all of the WT Study. Where did Saturday go? I have been massaging my neck a lot but it is still very tight and painful. I have an appointment tomorrow afternoon with my nurse practioner in oncology. She is the one who told me not to expect much before Memorial Day so I guess she knew what she was talking about. Had a nice chat with Page earlier. She sounded good. Talked with Page2 a little bit yesterday. Missing my babies.

Used to love doing this myself when I was younger. There were two big trees beside our old farm house that I used to lay on a blanket under and day dream. I'm not sure where I snatched this picture from but that is Jo and her brother Drew. I love that when I look out of my window, I see the greens from different trees. I love trees.

How do you spell LOVE?

I am constantly amazed that people still remember me at this point since I've been out of commission for so long and yet they do. I don't think anyone can imagine how much I have appreciated the kind words, thoughts and prayer from so many people. Ann had told me recently that she wanted to put flowers on my deck again. She called today to say she and Biscuit were on their way and I was surprised that Katarina and her little KennaKat arrived at the same time. When they got here, the sun was shining and there was a little breeze. Biscuit and KennaKat started exploring and found lots of things inside to do.

They are both very sweet little girls and got along very well. Not long after they got started planting, the clouds rolled in and it started raining. I couldn't believe they were still out there planting away. At one point, Ann realized I didn't have enough containers and I heard her on the phone with Keith who evidently went and got some and brought them over and then went back to work. Thank you Keith!!!

Ann also provided several dragonfly ornaments and two large citronella candles. There is also a bird bath on the back corner of the deck. BigD and I were on the porch when they were working in the rain and BigD said, that's probably the only time they will be watered and Ann said - "it had better NOT be"!

There are also little mushrooms in some of the plants.

Thank goodness the sun came back out before they had to leave and pick up their little boys from school. I absolutely LOVE my deck again!!! This is making me start getting excited about Memorial Day weekend! By the time that rolls around, all the plants will have grown and filled their pots with beautiful flowers. I am also very excited that Bentley will be coming home with Page that weekend! Now the deck will be a pretty place for them to sit when we cook out there. Hope it isn't super hot this year.

These two people are another way I spell LOVE! My sister and her dear hubby who stay in touch with me every few days and who I know pray for me every single day. When my sister was still working and was on her way to work in the early morning hours, her hubby would read her the Daily Text and then say a prayer and Rose said he always prayed for Jehovah to bless my pioneering. I was so touched by that. Rose is seven years older than me and I used to baby sit for them a lot. She taught me a lot of wonderful things as I was growing up and I will always appreciate how she and Wayne have always loved me and my children.

This is another kind of LOVE. I have known this young man most of his life and watched him grow to be a wonderful and responsible person. They got married this year and you can just see how happy they are. I really appreciated that he brought her by for me to meet since I missed their wedding and most of the past five plus months.

And then we have this kind of LOVE. This older sister loves my son very much and has automatically transferred that to his daughter. Page loves her too and was excited to see her when she stopped by to see me several months ago. So I guess you could say that when the girls gave me the wonderful gift of flowers on the deck, it made my "love" cup runneth over. Thank you so much Ann and Katarina.

Little piece of Paradise....

I had saved the following two pictures and for the life of me, I couldn't figure out why. I snatch pictures from telephones, emails, etc. and my poor brain is so idle, I couldn't remember where this was and why I had it

I'm looking at this one first going, that car is familiar but where is it and where did it come from?

And then I looked closer at this picture and went DUH! It is Eileen's beach cottage!!! I didn't realize they had paved their drive and man - it looks so good!!!! Eileen should have been an interior (and exterior) decorator. She has a natural talent. They have been doing a lot of work on their home here too. I snatched these from Eileen's telephone messages to me. She is in the place she loves the most. Thank goodness her hubby is smart and seems to appreciate all the things she asks him to do to make it better. She keeps telling me that when I get well, she is taking me down to complete the healing process. Sounds like a plan to me! I've been missing her but am still happy she finally got back down there.

More of the same

Ever feel like you are walking backwards even though you are facing forward? That is exactly how I have felt all week. The pain seems more intense at times and the nausea is still with me almost all the time. They reduced the strength of my Pain Patches and are trying to wean me off of them. I've been trying to massage the scar on my neck (the left side where they removed 9 lymphnodes)but every so often, it is almost too painful to even do that. Gail and Rubee came by and cleaned the house today. I appreciate them doing that so much. I do love a clean house. Leah sent us a writing assignment she found in Page's book bag. I almost cried it was so sweet and well written. It just confirms what we already know about her - she is one sweet little girl. I can't believe she will be 12 in September. I noticed changes in her the last time she was here. More mature in so many ways.

Rie shared a picture of one of her sons on their new 4 wheeler. They seem to like where they live and her hubby has a really good job he likes a lot. I'm happy if they are happy but I so miss the whole family. I thinks she misses us too.

Leah posted a picture of her cousins brand new son. This was right after he was born. Mama and baby are both fine. Roseanne's daughter came through her surgery and now we just have to wait to get the results of some tests. She is a very strong and positive young woman and knows we are all praying for her. I'm sure she has appreciated having Roseanne there with her. Keith came by on his way home from service today. He said he was heading home to take a nap. BigD told Gail how he made his last pasta dish and she tried it tonight. She said it was good but the final test will be when Keith eats since he ate some of BigD's the night he made it. I had a call from Lees today and it was nice getting caught up with them. Their grandchildren are growing up - the twins are 14 and Craig's daughter is 9.

This isn't the best picture of Leah's Dad but I had to post it because of the sign behind him. He has the quirkiest sense of humor and is one of the sweetest men I know. Page1 just called - she is feeling much better and worked all day today. Has had a bad cold and sounded good when she called. We were going to watch AI together but BigD can't do it. I'll record it and watch it later. She kind of got me hooked on it when I was down there last March. Was it really just last March?

It has been a strange year weather-wise. We barely had a winter and now it can't make up it's mind. At least the flowers know what they are supposed to do. Time to take more drugs....More of the same.

Four Generations

I had to change the title to this post.  I started this post last night and fell asleep with the computer on my lap.  To be honest, I woke yesterday morning very hopeful that I was turning a corner - NOT!  Absolutely not a good day. BigD made his second "from scratch" pasta dish last night and confirmed it is better than the one we used to order from Manchester's before they closed.  Mild Italian Sausage, chicken breast, fresh thyme, olive oil, heavy cream, etc., etc.,.  Keith was finishing up a study and came by to eat with BigD afterwards. He said it was some of the best pasta he has ever eaten.  He took the leftovers home and then to work today. 

I snatched this wonderful picture from FB. It is actually good of all four of them. It represents four generations of strong women.  I'm hoping Ruth will be able to come up soon - I miss her.  I hope everything is going okay.  They are getting ready for the youngest one to graduate and go to college.  Where did the time go?  It has been a strange day.

Monday, Monday......so good to me..

I can not tell a lie - I loved the Mamas and the Papas. I can honestly say I'm one of those people who loves the music during this time period.

So much talent, too many drugs - sad. Had a busy day today. Gail and Ruby came over as we were getting ready to leave for my medical appointments and cleaned my nasty house. Felt so good to come home to clean floors. My nurse practitioner just got back from her week long vacation in Orlando with the children. She said they had a wonderful time. I have an appointment to see her again in 2 weeks but if I feel I'm getting dehydrated again, I'm to call about coming in for fluids. My numbers looked good from my blood test and she was pleased. I told her what the surgeon said and she said she wanted to re-emphasize what he said. She counted the surgery, the radiation and the Interferon and feels strongly that I will start feeling better around Memorial Day. Hello....was hoping it would be sooner than that but I've got to pretty much suck up and move past it. She suggested the Acupuncture for my saliva glands but I don't think my insurance will pay for it. I'm very open to the idea and she knows patients that it helped tremendously. I have got to work on taxes tomorrow.  No ifs, ands, or buts....it has to be done.

Was surfing through some old pictures and had to post this one. It was taken in 2002 at one of our favorite places in the world. I am T I R E D....worn slap dab out, bushed, you get the picture. What a pretty little lamb (star).

All alone am I, ever since your good-bye, all alone with just the beat of my heart....

Anyone who knows me already knows I think in songs and music. One of my pioneer partners tells me how much they miss my spontaneous singing and stories about growing up.   Thinking about that reminded me of the old upright piano we had for many years. It had a long bench that the seat lifted up to hide your different song books.

I believe my Dad bought it for my oldest sister when she was around 15. If you could hum a tune and she recognized it, she could play it. Mom paid for Ruth and I to take piano lessons at school. Ruth can also play a little by heart like Mama and Ann. I paid for Page and Kurt to take a few lessons too when they were younger.  It helps when you are singing to recognize the basic notes. Kurt plays the guitar and Page2 takes guitar lessons. She is doing well with it. So - what triggered that song? I was thinking about how Judy and I were both unable to go to the assembly this weekend and agreed that is how we feel....all alone.

Eileen sent me this picture taken of her and Gail yesterday. It made me feel good they were thinking of me because I sure was thinking of them. The house has felt so empty since Kurt and Page2 went home.

Hoping it isn't going to be too hard for Page2 to get back into getting up early for school. That little girl can sleep just like her Grandaddie, Dad and Aunt Page.

Page and her teacher on a field trip. Yep - her teacher is very
little.

Her entire class on the field trip.

Learning how to build a dugout canoe. She really enjoyed herself.  Another reason for that song is I went from having my babies here to NOT.  It is always like that when they leave.  Have appointments tomorrow afternoon -  wish I could go back telling them how much better I feel but at this point, I will be surprised if they don't give me fluids.  And the beat goes on......the beat goes on..

Conundrum......

It feels like a perfect word to describe my life lately. Page went with me on Monday to meet with my surgeon. He let the Resident put the scope in my nose and she is not anywhere as good as the other Resident who normally does it - to the point that my Doctor took over to finish it. He noted that there is still healing going on further down in my throat. He also ordered a different medicine for the Thrush on my tongue. It has taken on a life of it's own.  He scheduled me to go back in May for another follow-up.

Put together a few pictures of my babies at the KH and various other places. If you look at the small one at the top, that is Drew resting in Miya's bed.  She is the first cat I've owned who loves her bed and scratching posts and mats.

Drew had come over to let me hear his first talk. Such a sweet little family.

I just realized that I copied some pictures twice....I almost got rid of them and started over but then said - Nah.....stop trying to be perfect.....I did include some pictures of Syn and Try. What a pleasant visit I had with Vira and her beautiful daughter - Fina yesterday. Fina has started her own company and makes soaps, lotions, etc. out of all natural products. So sweet of her to think of me. Our wonderful Accountant came over today to work some of her magic,  BigD's and our personal books are a mess. She has been so helpful and will be coming over about every 3 months to help us stay on top of things - after we get this year's taxes squared away. I think my body is still getting rid of the Interferon. My surgeon told me he wasn't surprised - he had told me how bad is gets but no one can really tell you. One day at a time......