Miscellany ...

Miscellany: 1.A collection of various items, parts, or ingredients. We have a "friend" living under our house this winter. We "think" it might be a black cat we keep seeing in our yard. Our next door neighbor came over to see if we had seen her black and white cat and we mentioned the black one (there are really two of them but we have only seen one lately)and the fact we think it lives under our house (the old part - my office and the bathroom). She thinks they get under her house too and I think she puts food out for them. I want to think they belong to someone stupid and that they weren't just put out. I can't bring outside cats in around Miya - she has never been exposed to feline leukemia and I want to keep it that way. We have lost one cat to that and hope to never repeat that in my lifetime. Today as I was looking out back at how bad our back yard really does look now - I saw the bigger one. She has made a nest in those leaves but at least I know she/he can go under the house for shelter and probably a little heat. I tried to get a picture but it is quite blurry. I noticed her yesterday and she is totally black - you can hardly see her eyes she is so dark.
I was also thinking about I.T. today. It still seems unreal to me that he is gone. I know Mae and her children have very hard days but hopefully time will lessen their feelings of pain and loss. This picture was taken 2 years ago - I loved that little twinkle in his eyes when he would look at you. There is still a hole in my heart where he lived for so many years. His son and his family are down at the beach this weekend. His son married one of my beautiful spiritual daughters and she sent me a picture over the phone with the question - Ever See Snow At The Beach? Still one of my favorite views in the world crammed slap dabbed full of wonderful memories of the past 40 years in all 4 seasons. I hope they are having fun. Our snow we got during the night last night is all but gone which is okay with me. I'm still sitting here in my gown and sweat pants just typing away in my "journal". I know Page - I need to get off the computer and get busy on this house. But it truly is like your Gma used to say - you will always have dishes to wash, clothes to iron and floors to sweep but you have to make an effort to live life every day. She was a wise woman in many ways your Dad's Mom was. I loved her dearly. And of course you know how much she loved you. She always made me feel like I had given her a wonderful gift in having you and your brother and being so willing to share you guys with her. She could also kick some serious buttocks playing Scrabble - never know she had a 3rd grade education when it came to that game. :-) I sent Kurt a cartoon from the newspaper the other day. It made me remember how he used to tell me and Daddy that he might move out of our house when he grew up but that he would "never" move far away from us. HELLO! Daddy and I were talking earlier after I called Page to see how she was feeling. I mentioned I hated her being so far away AND sick and he commented that at least we can be proud of the fact they are both productive and strong which is more than a lot of our friends and family can do. What more could you ask for? We aren't going to go there right now - besides, I always promised I would never try to guilt or manipulate my children and loved ones in any way and I plan to hold to that to the best of my ability. If anything, I think sometimes I may over-do it and later wonder if perhaps I should have said something or expressed an opinion. Oh well - it is better to wonder that than to regret that you did put your nose where it wasn't wanted - right? I almost forgot - I had a moment at the meeting Thursday night. If you know me, you know what a Klutz I have always been; falling down stairs, falling up stairs, walking into doors, walking into walls, and many other embarrassing moments. As a result, it is hard for me to be embarrassed because I tend to laugh at myself louder than anyone else. I had a coughing spell at the KH and decided to walk back to the lobby to get a drink of water. As I opened the door to the lobby, I felt something on my shin and as the doors closed behind me, I felt something around my ankles. Upon looking down, I said in a surprised voice - My Slip Fell Off!!! Okay - I was already laughing and when I looked across the lobby and saw Keith about to fall out, I laughed harder. The hard part was when two brothers rushed to my "assistance". They not only "helped" me step out of my slip but we "all bent down together" to pick it up. So I said - "Wow, I must have lost a lot more weight than I thought!" NOT - haven't lost a pound. As a matter of fact, have gained 5 pounds since they put me on BP medicine. Yep - thought I would celebrate. I know - I have to get back on track and be Pro-Active - that will be tomorrow. I called Roseanne because I noticed Norah Jones was going to be in Durham so we agreed we wanted to go and then I remembered - we will be a the beach that week! Oh well - 3 hour show - week at beach. That was a no-brainer. I did want to share Roseanne's beautiful granddaughter Rose. Look at those eyes and that beautiful smile. Bri waited a long time for this little girl and I know she and her dear hubby are enjoying every single moment they have with her. I sneaked this picture off FaceBook. I can't believe I'm on FaceBook. I have made three new friends (friends/relatives of existing friends)and love catching up with people I had "lost" and seeing people's pictures. I have to be careful though - it can become addictive and I am a little OCDC at times. :-) I also have a few people I had to "hide" as I'm sure most people aren't interested (at least I'm not)in their personal agendas. I only have one more thing to share in this Miscellany -Daddy cooked some ribs tonight and I'm in the mood for ribs! Yum! He also wanted me to take a picture of a few left-over eggs he deviled (he made potato salad to go with the ribs). He wanted the kids to see his with the jalapeno on it. Crazy man - guess he will be sitting low in the bowl tomorrow morning - so what's new! Okay - that is all the Miscellany I have for today. Until next time...

More cold, more snow, baby girl sick......

I think I'm being honest when I say Kurt and his family have had it with the snow. Too much of a good thing is just that - too much! Last weekend, Kurt had to stay at work to shovel people out while Leah and Page2 stayed at home keeping the home fires literally burning and shoveling the driveway. Yep - they are both DONE! On top of that, Leah was taking Page2 to her Mom's yesterday(school out again) so she could get to work and was on a nice stretch of road in a nice development and BAM - almost went into a ditch and got stuck in a snowbank. You can see where Kurt is trying to dig it out. That means she was late to work again and he had to leave work to come get her out. They have dug out so many times and then they would get more on top of what was there. Their landlord could see they were "snowed under" (sorry I - couldn't help myself) and had their driveway scraped and yet it snowed again this weekend. Not as much but Leah just called to say they were on their way over to shovel the road and driveway to her Abuela's house so she can keep Page when/if school is open on this coming week. They have had some fun with it too though. Leah's brother has a big truck and has helped them get to work at times. He also took time to have some fun with Page. There is this really big hill cut into the mountain right behind their house and they decided to sled down it.

The one above is Page coming down the hill by herself. Don't forget to click on picture to see it clearer.

This is where Page and her Uncle ended up when they came down together. He told Leah he had his feet dug in the whole way. The next picture will show you where they almost ended up. Yep - in the CREEK!
And the next one is showing how Page felt about her Uncle almost dumping her in the CREEK!
But doesn't the driveway look much better! :-) So they had some fun along with all the hard work. Poor Kurt didn't haven't as much fun - he had to shovel people out constantly and work on furnaces most of the time.
The funny thing is most of the snow this weekend was from us down into the deep South including GA. I talked to Page1 last night and bless her heart, she is sick as a dawg. This isn't a good thing on many levels. She is supposed to fly out to Europe Monday morning and there is no way she can fly being as sick as she is. It makes her feel so bad because people went the extra mile (and extra $$$) to get her in this class. I did speak to her briefly this morning and she didn't have a fever. We'll see. I don't think they got enough snow to keep the flight from taking off so she will have to decide by tomorrow what to do. It didn't help that she started feeling sick early in the day but the spent most of the afternoon with Bentley's medical appointments and tests. It looks like surgery will be needed before it was anticipated. He is also going to have to get some things changed with his job. I hate when my baby girl is sick so far away from me. But I'm grateful she has someone to take care of her and someone else to snuggle. CoCo - go snuggle Page! LOLOL

Daddy, has it really been 30 years?

Wow - one of these days I am definitely going to fix my scanner so I can have pictures that can be uploaded to this journal that are important to me. Daddy died 30 years ago tonight and it was on a Tuesday night. That means I was only 33 years old. I had seen him on Friday afternoon and then it snowed really big time that weekend. We got our old Cadillac that Monday so I drove by to show it to him and Mama but he didn't feel like coming out to see it. He had a pretty rough weekend that weekend being trapped in the house and all and there were some other things going on that don't require mentioning.
Then on Tuesday, the kids and I stopped by on our way to the Book Study - there was still snow and ice on the ground but the roads were passable and it was very cold. As usual, as soon as I hit Mama's front door, I made a bee-line for her little bathroom. She used to say " For goodness sake - there must be a switch because not a one of you ever comes into this house without making a bee-line for the bathroom!" :-) A sweet memory of that night Mama and I used to talk about was that as soon as we walked into the house, Kurt said - "I like your hair Grandma!" We both laughed because she had just brushed it out to be fixed the next day - back then people got their hair fixed and teased and it lasted a week.
While I was in the bathroom, I heard Daddy get up and go into the kitchen where Mama fixed him a snack. My son who was only 4 at the time and called him Grandpa (he is the only one who called him that) was just chatting away and I heard Daddy's voice talking back to him and Mama. My daughter had slipped into the bathroom with me and by the time we got out, Daddy had gone back into the bedroom to lay down and Mama said she thought he would feel fine by the next day.
On the way home that night, I tooted the horn as usual, got the kids in bed and put on my nightgown, long robe, socks and Mama's old corduroy bedroom shoes. Just about the time I sat down on the couch, the phone rang and it was Mama. She didn't think Daddy was breathing. As a rule, we left our keys in our cars back then but that one stupid night, I had put the keys in my pocket book. I remember I emptied my pocket book upside down, grabbed the keys and my wallet, threw my coat on over my robe and took off. I heard Dwight talking to Mama about calling 911 as I flew out the door.
It has taken me many years to realize I can't fix everything. In our family, I don't know if I took on the role of "fixer" and/or arbitrator or it was placed upon my shoulders but I've worked hard to relinquish that role these past 14 years since Mama died. My heart races even now when I remember exactly what I was feeling and thinking along the lines of -"Okay, take it easy now and be careful because there is still ice; OK - you made it out of the driveway now gun it; OK, slow down now for the light and the road will be better after that; now gun it but be very careful; Thank goodness there isn't any traffic but there is still ice so stay in control; Oh Jehovah - please, please, please help me be what I need to be no matter what I find. Stop it! Please help me stay calm so I can be of help."
Bascially though, I think I felt that if I could just get there, it would be okay somehow. As a rule I am still pretty good in a crisis. I have learned how to slow down my breathing and concentrate on listening so that I can think clearly and try to contribute to and/or support resolutions to problems rather than adding to them. I also know better than to "lose it" because then no one will listen to you or more importantly, they will not share any information with you.
I flew in Mama's yard covered with ice and flew up onto the porch - I don't remember hitting the steps but I must have hit a few of them. Mama started crying a little when she saw me and I remember very calmly telling her, "Sit down Mama, it's going to be okay". You know how in the movies, you walk in and the person isn't moving and doesn't respond so you put your fingers on their neck or their wrists to find a pulse? Well forget that! The only pulse you will hear is your own heart beating so loudly in your own ears you can't hear anything else. Daddy looked like he always did but he didn't respond which was totally not normal for him. It was at that very moment that I realized there was absolutely nothing I could do to fix this. I almost lost it but I knew it would really upset Mama and then the police got there within minutes the Ambulance arrived. One of the paramedics was a friend of my older brother-in-law and knew who we were right away. They asked me to leave the bedroom while they put Daddy on the floor to try and revive him. I went in to be with Mama who started crying and that scared me because she'd had a mini-stroke several years before so I calmed her down and about that time, the police who was standing in the doorway watching them work on Daddy said they got a little signal on their machine and that calmed her a little but he told me not to get our hopes up too much. (I have often wondered if our friend decided to give us time to pull it together by taking Daddy to the hospital - if so , he did a good thing.)
About that time there was a knock on the door and this tall, handsome, elderly gentleman in his PJ's, coat and nice hat came in and said, "Hello, I'm your Mother's neighbor from next door and want to offer any help you may need right now." I will never forget his gentlemanly kindness at that time. Mama got up and went into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee and I asked him to be with her while I called all my sisters. Then I went into my old mode of taking care of business and before they got Daddy ready to transport to the hospital I had called all my sisters and several nieces and nephews locally and most of them got to the house around the time I left to ride in the ambulance with Daddy while my brother-in-law and Big D followed us to the hospital. I grabbed Daddy's wallet as we went out - they had taken his pajama top off and we all got to see him as they rolled him out and we all noted later how handsome and healthy he looked. I can't tell you how much he just looked like he was sleeping so that made the reality harder to grasp.
When we got to the hospital, I insisted on going back with Daddy but once again, I was reminded that I was not in control and escorted to the desk. I opened Daddy's wallet to give the receptionist his health insurance information, it fell open to the first group picture we had made as sisters and that was it! I lost it totally! She basically took the wallet, got the information, gave the wallet to BigD and then escorted us to a private waiting room. I got myself under control again and not too long after, our doctor who met him at the hospital (we had called - it was different back then - believe me) came out to give me the really bad news. He said Daddy never woke up and didn't suffer in any way. It appeared his heart had just stopped beating.
Since he died at home and had not been sick, an autopsy was performed. The next day was very busy with getting everything ready for his funeral to be held the next day. In some ways it was a blur but then I can remember most of the details as if it were yesterday. We all felt like we had been kicked in the chest by a mule - wake up, make the bed, brush your teeth, then say - what now? Oh - I know. I'm going to Mama's. Then we would sit and talk and around noon Mama would say, it's time for lunch and get up and start making biscuits. And one day followed another and another and another and another. My first thought the day after Daddy died was - "Who will take care of me now if I need it?" You never stop thinking of your Daddy (and Mommy) as the ones who would "always" take care of you no matter what.
My kids know most of this and even a few more details that I didn't want to put in a public forum but I wanted to write it in my "journal" since we plan to print it out one day so that my granddaughter will have the memory also. Life is precious and can change forever between the hours of 8:45pm and 10:00pm. At 8:45pm, my Dad was talking to my son and Mama and at 10pm he wasn't breathing. Don't take one minute for granted - live every moment to the fullest - even if it is just reading a book you wanted to read or taking care of chores that need taking care of - do it in the moment. Uh Oh - there goes my daughter's Word for the Year 2010 - Present - live in the present. Sometimes it takes remembering something from the past to make you actually feel the Present. Love you Daddy

Snow, friends and family

Well we have had a pretty good share of snow - much more than we have had in many years. I think maybe Kurt, Leah and Page2 have had more than they want up where they live but for us it has been so good - especially for younger ones who were able to get out and actually go sledding. Rie is originally from CT and loves snowboarding so she has really had fun. She is a very multi-talented young wife, mother, regular pioneer and beautiful woman. I had to share the one of her jumping - believe me - I'm sure this little hill was quite tame for her but at least she got to do a little of what she loves. The pictures people have been sharing really brought back some great memories of when we used to get more snow than we do now. I remember going out and staying until you felt like a popsicle, coming in the thaw and dry your socks and then go right back out again. Fun! Fun! We haven't had a snow like this here in quite awhile so it has been nice looking out at it. Again, I wish I had purchased those boots. I planned to wait until winter had passed so they might be on sale. Watch - as soon as I buy new boots, I'm not going to need them for years to come! But hey - at least I'll be prepared next time - right? I did miss walking in the snow this year - the crisp air on your face, the crunch under each footstep, the quietness the blanket of white brings to everything. Sadly, Kurt and his family got slammed again and might get even more. I think they are pretty much over snow!

People you enjoy being around....

Big D and I were talking about how much we enjoy being around his niece Greene and her entire family. She lives in one of our favorite places at the Coast but comes often to see her Mom and two of her daughters who live in our area right now. Big D called his sister last night to see how she was doing (Green's Mom) and found out she was here and that yes, there was a fire in the fireplace. I had already gotten into my PJ's and bundled up because it was and is COLD, COLD, COLD. After being encouraged several times, I put on my coat and "went as I were" as Mama would say. We had a glass of wine and got caught up and enjoyed two of her three beautiful daughters. The middle daughter is the one getting married in a few months so I enjoyed listening to them talk about some of the plans and the gown she is having made by a new designer. The wedding will be on the sound and then the reception will be near a place Big D and I love and have so many wonderful memories of. She talked us into staying for dinner Chicken Picata, CousCous, Spinach Salad with fresh pears and fresh goat cheese with homemade dressing. YUM. I took a few pictures of her beautiful daughters but refuse to put a picture of someone on my Blog that I don't think is flattering (unless it is of me or someone being funny on purpose). Thanks for the great conversation and meal Greene! PS - I found a picture for Greene's oldest daughter - isn't she beautiful? I think so - and so talented! I'm so proud of and happy for her because she not only gets to enjoy her own talents, she gets to share them with others. She teaches art! I'll keep looking to see if I can find the other one who was with us that night. Fun

Like sands through the hour glass - so are the days of our lives

The first time I heard those words and saw the hour glass with the sands running, through it was in 1965 - the year I graduated from High School and in December, married my high school sweetheart. I was already out of school and engaged when the first show aired and it was one of my Mom's favorite "soaps". I never really watched it that much and there are only one or two faces I would recognize now. Leah found several older pictures and sent two of them to me - Wow - time has passed since these two pictures were taken. I LOVE the wild haired one of Page2 when she was a baby - she looks like she just woke up. Isn't it great? The other one is of Page2 and their beloved Max who died hmmm - almost 2 years now???? - leaving a huge hole in all our hearts. He looks so young and healthy here even though he was already older than Page2. We still miss Max and I'm sure Kurt, Leah and Page2 speak of him often. Time has slipped up on me in other ways. If you have been keeping up with my Blog, you know I started this service year many hours in the hole but made them all up the next month. Since then I came up 29 hours short in November due to multiple sicknesses, gained 7 in December and came up 4 hours short last month due to bad weather. That means I am 25 hours in the hole and this month has started off very poorly - so far I am 11 hours in the hole for this month and it is our shortest month. Yikes! If things go according to plan, I might be able to make my time for this month but that means I will still be in the hole the last 6 months of the service year. Get behind me Satan!!! In looking at my calendar for that, I have realized the plans I made with my friend from down East will have to be changed since Roseanne and I will be at a musical called MENOPAUSE THE MUSICAL that weekend. I heard great reviews about it so I ordered the tickets quite awhile ago and we are both looking forward to it. I am happy to say my hot flashes have gotten much better. Now I am watching my younger friends cope with this passage into a different phase of a woman's life. Man, that just kinda slipped up on me. I also know I have an appointment with my C-team as well as one with my regular doctor in March - getting senile - forgot to write one of them down. This has put me on a mission so I am also trying to figure out when the Special Talk with be this year. It normally comes the week after our Memorial which will be on March 30th this year but I think it will be later in April since it needs to come after the week of the 12th. Okay - take a deep breath here. Since we have a wedding down on the Outer Banks the first weekend in May, I also need to find out when another SAD is so I can plan to attend that one. STOP - Hold the Music!!! It is the 2nd day of the 2nd Month and I'm already looking at March - What the heck? So I went back a page on my calendar and there I found so many little nuggets of family history in February. Here goes - February 3rd: youngest sister's oldest grandson will be 20; 4th: LinLin's son will be 6 and Papa died 13 years ago; 5th: Aunt Vila died 11 years ago; 10th: Ruth will be 66 and her daughter will celebrate her 9th wedding anniversary; 11th: Ruth's other daughter will be 47, Kev and LeLe's son will be 7 and Phil, Jr. died around 17 years ago; 12th: Daddy died 30 years ago and I can still smell him and feel his skin; 14th: Daddy buried 30 years ago and Virg and Chuck married 58 years; 17th: Shannon died 27 years ago; 21st: Lani 6 years old. I think now that I have remembered the musical and two medical appointments, I will go ahead and figure out when I'm going down East and then leave March alone until we get through February. One day at a time. Ta-Dah! This stands for The Association of Delightfully Alive Humans. A wonderful young woman shared it with me - it was on a Bumper Sticker and I've decided I will use it also to remind myself to be happy - I'm not just alive - I'm DELIGHTFULLY ALIVE!!!!! TA-DAH!!!

5th Monday of the Year 2010 and flexibility....

Here we are in the 5th Monday and 2nd Month of the year 2010. I took some pictures of the icicles hanging outside my bedroom window yesterday. It made me remember other snows we had in the past and how big our icicles would get. This was before we put the new roof on and Big D decided no more gutters so our icicles aren't as big as they used to be. I looked out the window this morning and they were all gone. The sun is very bright today and it should warm up to somewhere in the 40's, so hopefully, the roads will get better. I love looking out on the snow - it is so quiet with only the footprints of animals as they explore this white world they wake up to. Big D started my car and swept all the snow off the windshield so we could get out long enough to drive about a mile to the drug store to pick up a prescription yesterday. It was pretty rough out there and we were glad to be back home safe and sound. Everyone has been sending pictures of sledding and playing in the snow for the past few days so I'm glad they are enjoying themselves. After looking at a few pictures I asked Big D, are we officially old since we have absolutely no desire to get out there and lay in the snow? His answer - "Yes - thank God". LOL I have always enjoyed walking in the snow and being out in the woods when there was a nice snow that evens everything out. I was caught with my pants down this year because I never got around to replacing my winter boots. Oh Man! Not sure how I will handle navigating people's yards this week once we get out and I am definitely NOT going to purchase any while there is snow on the ground. I was already planning to wait until they all go on sale. I don't want anything fancy, just something with good traction that will keep my feet warm and dry and not hurt the top of my feet due to my high arches. Now to move on to flexibility. This is a word that is tossed around quite a bit so I thought I would pull the correct definition of flexible which is: responsive to change; adaptable: a flexible schedule. Hmmmm - along the line of icicles, they are certainly not flexible, they either melt or fall and break into many pieces. I have always wished my body were more flexible but it isn't and never has been. My daughter took Pilate's years ago and did so well with it. When I was laid off from my job back in the early 80's, I took some dance exercise classes from a local dance company that supported themselves by giving lessons and having dance exercise classes for some of us. I did quite well in some areas but it was here that I learned how deformed my poor old knees really are. (You didn't think I was going to put a picture of my own knees on here did you? LOLOLOL) There have always been some stretching exercises that I just could not do no matter how much I tried. Even when I was younger and would do cheers, if it required me going to my knees, the pain was so bad as soon as my knee would touch the floor, I couldn't get back up. If I need to get on my knees now, I have to have pillows and even then, it is very painful. It turns out that if I were born today, they would break both my legs and re-shape them and I would have lived a large portion of my first few years in casts. That explained a lot - wasn't what I wanted to hear but it still helped me understand that it wasn't from lack of trying. You would think this would be enough to make me lose weight wouldn't you? Yeah - right. I do try to be flexible when it comes to schedules and plans which is good because my dear friend from down East called earlier to say she thought this upcoming weekend would not be a good one for me to come because of the weather. I went on-line and sure enough - they are calling for wintry mix tonight and in the morning but turning to rain in the afternoon with a high in the 40's. It is supposed to be cloudy Wednesday morning with a high in the 50's and sunny in the afternoon but freezing rain and rain on Friday and part of the day on Saturday. She is so right - so we have a new plan - IF Big D goes down with his friends, I might still go and we will vegetate inside and cook, watch old movies and read tons of magazines together just because we can BUT the real plan is for me to go down Thursday, March 11th and come back the following Monday barring any other unforeseen occurrences! That way we can still do the fun things we wanted to do outside! Woo Hoo. Flexibility - my word of the day. Oh Man - I just looked at the calendar to see when I was going down and realized today is the date Big D and I moved Page to Atlanta back in 2002!!!!!! It was hard enough taking her down there and leaving her thinking she might stay gone several years but 8 YEARS!!!! Yikes - that is just too many years of missed adventures, shopping trips, movies, meals, and hugs and kisses with my baby girl. Bah Humbug - is my new word of the day....it's MY pity party and you aren't invited. "It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to; Cry if I want to, cry if I want to; You would cry too if it happened to you" Now I 'm thinking about how long Kurt and Leah have been living away from here too! Wow - that was pretty flexible - I went from being all perky about my little upcoming trip down East to be with a special person in my life to being a spoiled rotten brat who wants to have a Pity Party. Amazingly, those can be pretty fun too - especially if alcohol is involved. Oh yeah - that pity party is looking better all the time. I normally like to have that kind of party with my friend Roseanne who is visiting her daughter and new granddaughter out of town this weekend so I'll hold that thought until she gets home. She is really snowed in up there! We can have one together and talk about how we thought we were being good Mama's but for some reason, all of our children except for her one son his wife and children live away from us. I can't have this pity party with my friend from down East because all her children moved closer to her when she and her hubby relocated down there. What does that mean? Roseanne? What does it mean????? LOL