Denial.....

After looking at my blog entry from yesterday, I just realized something else about myself. I have more of my Mama in me than I thought. I have a sister who likes to say - "Oh yeah - I am Mama's daughter - just find me some sand and I will stick my head in it up to my ears rather than have to deal with anything". Then she will just conveniently "forget" whatever "it" was. I have another sister who literally does forget everything, another sister who kind of remembers everything and a sister who says she remembers EVERYTHING - even things that happened when she wasn't even thought of or even scarier - things that absolutely never happened anywhere but in her own imagination. The scary thing about the last two is they will swear someone down that what they are saying happened!? Hello? I learned so much more about my past when I read the letters Mama wrote my sister and some other people and we got copies of them. After reading some of the book I mentioned on the entry from yesterday - I realized that I too have been in denial about some things and really do need to be a little more pro-active in certain areas of my life. When I stopped working - it was such a relief to not have to hold so much "stuff" in my head all the time. I'll have to say that pioneering really is a full time job and I need to hold a few more things in my memory than I do because of return visits, bible studies, etc. - what would I do without the calendar function on my phone? My life is now in that little phone! Because of my sweet sister who worries herself into a frenzy about every tiny little thing that she can't control - I have worked so hard to not be like her that I have became a little too blase' about some things. After this week, I need to buy out a little time, sit down somewhere quiet for a bit and think about some things. That should be interesting.

Almost gone......

Yep - it has come to that time of year again - the year is almost gone and my time with my babies is once again going by much too fast. Little D., Leah and Page2 got here on Thursday night and it was so good to see them. Little D and Leah went to see Avatar Friday night and loved it! Leah, Page2 and I got pedicures and manicures Saturday afternoon and Page 1 had just arrived when we got home. Page2 picked her favorite color - Gold. Her manicure just consisted of them polishing her fingernails but she did have the pedicure - with again; gold polish. Notice how cute the little cuff is on her arm. As soon as we all greeted each other, it was time for Leah to start working on her famous Basil Thai Chicken and Jasmine Rice. I can't even begin to describe how delicious it was. It took quite awhile to prepare and no time at all for it to disappear! Douglas made a Pear dessert with fresh Bosc Pears, brandy, and some other things and it rocked also - and the oven door WOMPED one time! Alcohol and the stove - hmmm. I'm not sure what was going on but I ran a fever all Saturday night - finally got up around 2:45am to check and it was almost 101 which for me is very high. I took some Tylenol and went back to bed. I just layed around all day Sunday and Big D made his famous BBQ Chicken and Slaw and I put together some roasted veggies for lunch/dinner. A nice surprise was Rose and Wayne coming by to visit with the kids and they stayed and ate with us. It was nice being together again. They both look great as always. It was sad that Little D and Leah had to leave but they both had to be at work today. Leah added tons of Page's CD's to her new iPod we gave her for their anniversary and she was so excited! I had a little fever last night and still have a little cough but not sure what it is. I spoke with a friend who said her sons had something similar and the doctor said it is a virus so that raises a question. Am I going to catch every single virus going around this year? Give me a break! I slept 10 hours last night - woke up at 9am and heard Page talking to Big D, rolled over and next time I looked it was 10AM! Yum. Poor Page - she was getting ready for her massage today and felt like she was developing a UTI. I called my doctor and he worked her in and yep - she was right. We dropped her off for her massage - picked up her meds, visited with Roseanne for a second (to use her bathroom at the shop) and got a few groceries. My doctor wants her to talk to her doctor about getting that kidney stone out since she hasn't passed it. Big D picked up Chinese for dinner tonight at Page's favorite Chinese place - China Inn Express out on Hwy 54 in RTP. YUM.Then we baked some sugar cookies and Page2 decorated them with chocolate icing. Page bought me a book she picked up at the library called Crazy Sexy Cancer Tips by Kris Karr. I just skimmed through it - some of it was very funny and poignant at the same time and some of it was just a little too irreverent for me but I'll have to say it was REAL. I enjoyed the experiences of the other young women she found and surrounded herself with who were going through a cancer experience and what they all gave to each other. I could relate to so much of what she and the other women said about their own experiences with how people react to you about it. Recently someone said, I thought your cancer was totally taken care of. Hmmmm. She delved into many areas of alternative medicine; the drastic changes in her diet always displaying a wicked sense of humor and touched on her spiritual journey (of sorts). Her language is a little salty (to say the least) and she gets angry but the way she expressed her actual feelings about the way her life changed totally from the moment she heard the C word was good. I may join her blog crazysexycancer.com to see what types of things she sends and it looks like her team includes a well know cancer specialist. I guess my new word for 2010 should be PRO-ACTIVE. What do you think?

Heavy and Sad

I wrote a very long entry but decided to delete it. I was feeling very heavy and sad about something on this night and typed it out, reviewed it a couple of times and eventually deleted it to a private file to review again later. And yes - the picture depicts my sadness to the point of crying several times but not my rage. I want my Blog to be upbuilding to those who read it - not depressing. The reality of life is - some things happen that make us feel heavy and sad like a dark rainy day but I had a nice chat with Roseanne and am sure I will again - nice to have a good friend who catalog things but never shares them with anyone else. Someone you can tell your deepest, angriest feelings to and know they recognize you just have a need to vent and that eventually you will be okay again. This one has taken some time but I'm sure this too shall pass. I have more important things to think about. My whole family will be with me this weekend and hopefully I'll feel much better by the time they get here. Either way - life will continue to move around us so we may as well learn to float during those peaceful times we can and expect to have to swim hard at other times.

Winding down, d o w n, d o w n.....

Yep - I think I can feel 2009 winding down - it is hard to describe but it is almost something tangible. I'm moving slower - noticed it first yesterday afternoon when the sun was so warm inside the car and I wanted to sleep. The feeling carried over to this morning when Luz and I had her study in my car in the parking lot of McDonalds downtown. Even when I realized my battery was dead (the lights were on), I felt no sense of rushing to get anywhere. I asked the young men in the car beside us to help me use my handy dandy jumper cables and it worked! Luz and I came to my house where we grabbed a quick bite and then went out to the hospital to visit the dear old friend I mentioned. It appears we were there at just the right time of day because he was so awake and talkative and I will treasure the time we had. I hate I missed his wife - she had gone home to get a shower and a little rest but I got to be with his son and daughter-in-law. We made a few more calls and went to the grocery store where I ran into Eileen's beautiful daughter - Les. I noticed a beautiful young woman with green eyes and long blonde hair as I walked past her and she called my name! What a treat! She lives on my side of town now so maybe we will run into each other again soon. Leah called to say they are going to try and get away early Thursday afternoon and should be here in time for dinner! Woo Hoo! We can't wait to see them. I have a lot to do before they all get here but for now - I plan to hold that feeling of winding down. Relaxed - like a sundial in a warm garden - in France or Italy - or even at the coast with the sea breeze moving the clouds across the sky of 2009 as it continues to wind down.

Comments Welcomed.....

I wish there was a way to know who has read my blog - I haven't given it out to many people and I know most of them read it but only two or three people have commented. I'm just curious as to who has read what. Thank you Roseanne and Katarina as you have made the most comments. I know most people don't really have that much time to even read blogs, much less go through the process of commenting so I'm not complaining. I do try to comment on other's blogs when I read them - I want them to know I appreciate being invited to read their meandering thoughts and keeping up with them. I save my favorite blogs as shortcuts on my desktop so I can check them each day or so. Sometimes I have to wait to add a comment but I do keep up with them. I have been doing FB a lot lately because of a young sister's adventures while she is serving as a "need greater" in the Dominican Republic. I have really enjoyed following her activities. It has also been nice to touch base with some from years ago but can't do too much on there - just in spurts.

Another Monday, Another Month, Another Year...

It is so hard to believe another year is almost gone. There will only be one more Monday in the year of 2009 and it makes you wonder where did it go? Psalm 90:10 says: "In themselves in the days of our years are seventy years; And if because of special mightiness they are eighty years, Yet their insistence is on trouble and hurtful things; For it must quickly pass by, and away we fly." So time for man on the earth goes by very quickly and yet Ecclesiastes 1:4 says "the earth is standing to time indefinite." Time indefinite - what a wonderful hope and yet it is hard for mankind to fathom until he stops and thinks about it. When we are younger time stretches out in front of us - indefinitely. It isn't until we are much older and faced with our own mortality that time takes on a bigger meaning and seems so short. It is then that the words "time indefinite" become much more meaningful to us and something we long to obtain.
2009 was a pretty eventful year - some good events and others not so good. I was diagnosed with Cancer on March 27th after having a growth removed from my neck. That was a really big surprise but so far, so good. I don't dwell on it for the most part but it is there - especially today. The last time I.T. was in the hospital, a dear old friend was also diagnosed with cancer and is losing his battle to it this week. That was very fast - and it just doesn't seem fair. The reality of this old world is that our time here is fleeting and the reason it seems unfair is because it is not how it was meant to be. The good news is most of you who are reading this know that this is not the way it will continue to be much longer and for that - we can breath a nice big sigh of relief. In the meantime though, we have to deal with the passing of time - realizing that it will mean more and closer losses as we get older.
We lost I.T. in June and his youngest daughter a few weeks after he died. That was hard for everyone - so many emotions to deal with at one time but we are all still here. Bentley has been having a lot of problems with his job - hopefully it will get better for him soon. Page is being a little overworked right now because of circumstances beyond her control but seems to be managing okay. Leah is still working a lot of overtime but seems to still really love her job. Little D is getting used to his new role and doesn't have the anger and frustration he was going through at the old property. Page2 is doing well - growing up and so sweet. Big D and I are plugging along. We have been getting his Medicare/Social Security/Health Insurance straightened out but aren't all the way there yet. It is hard to believe Big D is 65, that I am 63 and that we have been married for 44 years years. All the kids are coming in this weekend and Page1 will be with me until Wednesday and Page2 will be with me the whole week. I can't wait to see them.

So come on 2010 - show us what you have for us! We have a new song book and new songs to learn, Roseanne and I are looking forward to our little getaway, Eileen is doing so well and we also hope to get away for a quick weekend - maybe with the other three girls in the car for our convention this past summer, trying to pick a time to visit with Fran down at Oak Island, need to pick a time to visit my sister Ann in PA, want to see more of my babies this year whether is it them here or me there, praying Ava will hold on another year because we can't afford another car, and enjoying my career of regular pioneering. Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping - into the future..... now I need to record my time for today......

A good day - I can say - ahhhhh

It has been a very full day and except for not getting a few things done around the house - very satisfying. I woke up refreshed and was having my first cup of coffee while studying my WT for today's meeting when the husband of one of my spiritual daughters called to say the whole family was going to come to our meeting! I told him to come early because Roseanne and I had already made plans for after the meeting and he said they would. It was nice to sit between Jo and Abi - both of them answered at the WT study and I taught Jo how to not only hum the songs but to sing La La La with them. I couldn't find a picture of their beautiful little boy but he is on my blog in another post - the one when the girls came and made breakfast for me. I found one! Of course he has the same blonde hair. Everyone was so happy to see them. They are in Bahama right now but you never know - they may come back one day. We are going to try to get all the girls together after next weekend when I have Page2 - maybe a tea party or something. We'll see. I left as soon as the meeting was over and Roseanne and I went to see Avatar. The special effects were everything I anticipated and more. The colors alone were worth seeing the movie for but it is SciFi and not for everyone. It is always nice being with Roseanne but I especially enjoy going to movies with her. We have very similar tastes in what we like and it isn't necessarily what people assume that will be. Of course the movie wasn't just about special effects - it did have an ageless story of prejudices, fear of anyone different for you, powerful people thinking they have a right to take anything they want regardless of who it hurts, dis-respect, romance, betrayal --- all the things that go into making a story come alive. Sometimes you start to think you could write the scripts but there is no one who could have written the beauty of this world any better than Cameron did with his special effects. Roseanne reminded me that he is the one who made The Abyss which we both also loved. Of course everyone remembers that he made Titanic which was an amazing film for special effects and the love story that touched everyone's heart. It didn't hurt to have Celine Dion sing the theme song that most people can at least hum if not sing. It truly is one of the prettiest songs written and speaks so well to how we can keep our dead loved ones alive in our memories and by talking about them. Makes you long for the day we are all looking forward to when we will see them all again with no more sickness or pain. Just got home and Big D had heated up some steak and taters so going to eat now. Ahhhh

Disappointment in NC - Overwhelmed in VA....

Well I'm bummed. They closed the schools early yesterday and said it was going to snow - and it did - but not enough here to hold on and then it started raining and it was pretty much gone by this afternoon.
Ann sent a phone picture of Boy playing on their deck - they live in Bahama and always get more of everything than we do. I think Little D, Leah and Page 2 beat everyone around here. They got over 16 inches in Troutville, VA which is just a little North of Roanoke.
Roseanne and I were planning to go to a movie tonight but our husbands decided the roads would be too bad by the time we got out so we put it off again. They are right and I wouldn't want to cause or be in an accident at all - but especially not in this cold weather. Big D made some yummy spaghetti and we drank hot cocoa with marshmallows. Yum. I spoke with Little D later and I think he is already tired of it and dreading having to plow himself out of their driveway.

A man called Shorty who was BIG in my life.....

When I was a young girl there was a man who would come see my parents - Daddy called him Shorty but Mama called him Herman. He was Daddy's third or fourth cousin and had always been close to my parents. One summer day when I might have been 11 or 12, he came to see Daddy on a really big motorcycle - I could feel the vibrations as he rumbled up into the driveway and I rushed out the back door to see what the noise was all about. Here was this very short man with the craggy face on this big beautiful machine! I kept standing around looking at the motorcycle while they talked and Herman asked me if I wanted him to take me for a ride. I know this will be so hard for most people who know me now to believe, but I could be quite shy as a young girl but I spoke up and looked at Daddy and said YES! He asked Daddy if it would be okay and Daddy said - "Well, okay, but you know what will happen to you if you don't bring her back exactly like you left with her." That was Daddy's way of saying you had better drive safe! So I climbed on (I was 5'8" when I was thirteen so I was already a tall girl for my age and my legs were much longer than his) and off we went with my hair flying in the wind like a flag (days before helmets too). We never talked, we just rode. After about 30 minutes, he brought me back home and I said thank you and went back in. I was hooked! A few months later, he showed up in Kittrell at one of our family reunions and when I walked over with all my cousins to look at the motorcyle, he asked Daddy if he could ride me back home and Daddy said YES! Of course, he also warned him again - Daddy was quite protective of us so it spoke worlds of how much he thought of Herman to allow me to do this. So - how do you think I felt with all my cousins watching me ride off on the back of that monster - Wow - I felt so free! We went flying down Highway #1 on that big machine and I loved it! This is his first motorcycle - I don't know who the young girl on the bike is but I was about that age when I started riding with him. I just remembered; I also always wore sunglasses.
Over the years - every so often, I would hear the big machine stop in front of our house and I would run to the door and see him stopped on the road. I would yell back into the house - "I'm going riding with Herman!" and off I would fly across that big front yard and hop on the back and off we would go- sometimes for about 30 minutes and sometimes longer. I can't tell you how many times I might be dressed for a date and he would drive up and I would yell out - wait a minute, rip my dress off, throw on pants or shorts and fly out the door yelling to Mama to tell my date I would be back in a few minutes and off we would go. I would come back with my hair all over my head (we were teasing and using hair spray by then) and fly back across the front yard, run a brush through my hair and throw my dress back on and off we would go on the date. I don't know why but they never complained about having to wait for me. Mama was good at keeping them entertained I guess. I received my share of burns from the hot tailpipe (still have the scars) but nothing could keep me from those brief stolen moments of freedom with him. When I got my license, he tried to get me to drive his big Harley on the highway but I said no. I did drive a smaller motorcycle one day after I was married (had on my dress, hose, heels and had just gotten off work) but when I cut a wheelie on it, Big D pretty much made me swear off driving motorcycles. Herman never liked my boyfriends very much until he found out I was dating Big D - turns out they had worked together in a garage and they liked each other a lot. He was very much in favor of us being together and always let us know how much he cared for us. We both loved him very much - Still Miss You Herman.

Foggy Mondays.....

This is the sight that greeted us in the KH parking lot Monday morning. It was so quiet and mysterious looking.
There are still some deep woods behind our KH and with quite a few deer of all ages and sizes living in there. We see them all the time when we drive into the parking lot but they were nowhere to be seen this morning.
Everyone who knows me well knows how much I LOVE moss - all the different textures and colors both brilliant and muted. I have a call on the nicest lady whose entire yard is made up of various shades of moss and it makes me want to sprinkle fairy dust somewhere! :-)
This was just a tiny strip in the sidewalk but I couldn't resist taking a picture of it to share. It didn't rain at all but as you can see, this tree is dripping water like crazy.
I asked Gail what kind of tree this was and she was afraid to say. She said it might be a Chaney Ball tree? I have no idea if that is how you spell it - I tried to Google it but failed miserably.
We felt so bad for Gene because his nose was dripping worse than the tree. Poor thing - the moisture in the air seemed to make it worse and he was determined to go to the drug store at lunch time to get something a little stronger to take.
The last picture of our foggy Monday morning - it finally dissipated but I really enjoyed our time in the mysterious fog. Can you believe I took all these pictures with my handy dandy little telephone. Technology - it's crazy.

Last of the November 2009 Beach Pictures - I promise...

Okay - I've been waiting to post these last pictures until I gave Roseanne the gift I bought her (bought myself one just like it) at Christina's Collectibles. I was finally able to give it to her when we went to see the movie 2012. Interesting movie. Roseanne and I went to Paris back in 2001 when we had our grand adventure in Great Britain. Due to poor planning, we were only able to squeeze out one day in Paris. It is a crystal magnet for the refrigerator.
The first thing that happened was the flight was late taking off but we got over it because we were in Paris! We had a wonderful dinner (boy the story we could tell you about the couple beside us but another time maybe), then walked around drinking in the lights, odors, people, and the fact that we were walking in Paris! After awhile, we dropped into our beds looking forward to our one day Paris. I woke up with - yep - you guessed it - a really bad migraine. I swallowed 5 Advil with our Croissant and delicious coffee breakfast after which we stowed our luggage at the hotel and set out. Roseanne also had a slight headache but we were going to do as much as we could in the time we had. We went to the Eiffel Tower first. The line waiting to just walk into the first level was 30 minutes so we took some pictures and boarded a water taxi. One of the employees on the water taxi (handsome young man) offered to pay for Marlan to come back for 2 weeks - including her hotel room because he felt it was so unfair to only have one day. Okay - I was talking English to some young people from Belgium I had just met and they were practicing their English so I wasn't protecting her like I should have been. I had to say the words - white slave trade - to make her snap out of it! Just kidding - it was fun though and she couldn't wait to get home and tell Bri and her hubby! We went to a few more places including Notre Dame (a picture of us standing in front of Notre Dame was in our local newspaper), had a delicious lunch in a sidewalk cafe, did some shopping and walked along the River Seine watching the artists paint people. We watched a very handsome artist paint an older gentleman - he was very good. The artist didn't speak English but his wife was with him and she did. She was tall, thin, with very long, healthy, wavy brown hair and looked like a model. No makeup at all - just too lovely for words. I decided to have him paint my picture so Marlan roamed about alone for awhile. He kept asking me to smile and I really thought I was. When Marlan came back he was almost through and she said it looked like my Mom. Then she decided to have her picture done too. We both had them matted and framed and they are hanging in our homes to remind us of the brief but delicious adventure we had there. Page said mine looks like me with a migraine and it's true - the eyes show it. He didn't quite get my one cheek but I don't care - I know it's me and where it was painted and that is what counts. Page had one done when she was there too and I have a small copy of it.
The little greenish earrings on the left were made by an artist in a store where I bought tons of unique cards by local and other artists. The owner of the shop made these earrings so I bought a pair for me, Page and Leah. The ones I bought Page are green also (with a different design on each earring) and the ones for Leah are a terra cotta color. The earrings in the middle were made by Charles Albert (see the card). The stone is Aztec Lapis and they are beautiful surrounded by the sterling silver. I splurged on these in a big way but know I will enjoy them for many years to come. Leah bought each of us including Ann a sun with a different gem in each one. She got the Amber, she gave me the Pearl and I can't remember what she gave Page and Ann. Ann and I went back and got him to make us the cords to hang them on. I've already worn my sun necklace and love it. I just bought a nice pair of pearl earring hanging on a long piece of sterling silver to wear with it the next time I wear it. The two pair of earrings in the top left side of the picture were left in Mae's cottage. I brought them home to return them to the sister who stayed there last but she said they are not hers. Have no idea who they belong to.
I bought this handmade pin to wear on my new hat and/or my coat/sweater and love it. I wish I had bought several of them. The owner of the shop who made the green earrings made these also. I plan to buy more the next time I go down. What I should do is learn how to make them myself - yeah - right! I believe she knitted them but think they could be made by crochet also.
I was also holding off on putting these last pictures up because I bought the Betty Boop magnet and little Betty Boop Tin for my niece and was hoping to have given them to her by now. We were having lunch at Yana's in Swansboro and went to the shop next door owned by Yana's to get this and something for Boy. They have everything in there. Awhile back, my niece made a comment on FaceBook about her hubby calling her Betty Boop and she wanted to know whether she should be insulted or not. I found a cute picture of Betty Boop and posted it on FaceBook so she could see that No - he was paying her a compliment.
Can you see the resemblance? Of course my niece is much prettier than Betty Boop but I love the dark hair and red coat - that is why I picked this magnet out - the red coat and dark hair. She works odd hours at Duke as a nurse and has tried to come by several times because I told her I had something for her. Maybe she will not look at my Blog before I can get it to her. The scarf I bought because it was on a head in the shop and looked like it would work well in the event I ever "need" this type of scarf OR I might wear it at the beach this summer.

A gift to a mother from a daughter.....

It takes a long time for a daughter to come to the knowledge of what a gift she is to her mother. I speak for myself here as much as anyone else. My mother gave birth to six daughters and five of us survived to be senior citizens who are all still here. We know how fortunate we have been so far and have talked about it before. During my turbulent childhood - my mother was the stable one - the one who put the anxieties in their place and could always make people not just smile because of her beauty and grace but laugh out loud with her wicked sense of humor even in the face of her own anxieties and pain. When I think of Daddy and his family and then all of us girls and how strong our personalities were - I realize just how strong Mama had to be because she not only could but would stand up and speak her mind when it needed to be spoke!
I hope Mama knew how much I loved her - I believe she did. She told my uncle how proud she was of us for the way we took care of her when she was so sick. He told me in a card he sent me after she died and it meant so much to me. I know Mama had a special relationship with each one of us and she carried many of our secrets with her when she died. She never compared one to the other and tried to treat us equally. When Daddy died, she turned to each one of us in a unique way. With me it started when she made me her medical go-to person. She would call me to talk about a "funny feeling" she was having and after we talked I would tell her we need to go to the doctor. It was during her first serious illness that I became her medical champion and I took it very seriously.
When I have looked back, I think it was because I never tried to take over and make decisions for her about what I thought she should do but once she decided I would make sure her decision was implemented. Years before she had made the comment that I was just like my Daddy ( I was getting on my kids for something) and I got defensive and came back with something like "Well you know what Mama? The older I get the smarter I think Daddy was!." She laughed and said - "Jane, when I say you act just like your Daddy, I'm not talking about the negative things about him - I'm talking about the good things about him. You need to remember there were lots of good things about him." Then I felt good and realized later that might be one of the reasons she turned to me for the scary things because he was very strong in those situations and made us feel safe when he was around (as long as he wasn't the one scaring the mess out of us which he could do so easily.) She would also call me when a relative showed up thinking they were going to live with her after Daddy died - I was the one who had to tell them sorry but No - my sisters and I had decided it was best that no one move in with her for now as we had already had one bad experience where a cousin came and asked to stay until she got on her feet. Boy - we learned our lesson with that one. Daddy hadn't been dead a month when the suitors came out of the woodwork. She was able to handle them for the most part but one was a cousin of my Dad's and she had mentioned to me that he just wouldn't quit calling. One night he called me to say he wanted to marry my Mama and she had told him to call me because I wouldn't allow it. (I'm not sure when I inherited that power but I went with the flow and figured out that Mama needed me to get rid of him.) He then asked me if I would let him marry my Mama and I said " No, not over my dead body. It just ain't gonna happen so move on." He said, "But why not?" I said, "Because she doesn't want to marry you and you refuse to take no for an answer from her so listen real good - it just isn't going to happen and don't call the other sisters because they aren't going to say yes either. She is doing very well on her own and doesn't need a man who wants to marry her so she can cook for him, wash his dirty underwear and pick up after him so move on.". He finally did.

My daughter has been a gift to me since the day I conceived her. I lost my first baby so was a little anxious when I found out I was expecting. It didn't help that there were problems with the pregnancy from the beginning. After being on bed rest off and on the first three or four months, premature labor at 6 months, etc., she was born - are you ready? On her due date! She has always been exactly what I wanted and more in a daughter. She knows it because when she got a little older she would say, "Mama - stop talking about me like that or you will make everyone hate me!" I wonder if I irritate people by talking about her even now? How could that be? So my daughter gave me a wonderful gift at the beach that I love! I had just been looking at something similar the day before at Christina's Collectibles down near Swansboro. She gave Leah one also that has blue colors and mine has the colors of Topaz and Autumn.It makes me think of the beautiful ring my brother-in-law had made for me that was stolen out of my jewelry box by a neighbor's daughter one day along with a few other things and no - I never got it back. I was born in November and Topaz is the color of my birth month . I have always loved the stone's color and Autumn. I kept wondering where I could hang it so this is where I'm going to try first to see if it works. I want it where I'll see it often but not where Miya will kill herself and destroy everything around her trying to swat it. Leah will have the same problem finding somewhere to hang her beautiful hand blown blue globe. If LittleD keeps his succulent garden in their bay window, it might survive Hiro and Vincent hanging above there. Miss you Mama and Page.

Sleep, sleep, elusive sleep ---

Ran across these cute pictures from last year when Biscuit was still in the oven and Ann and Boy came by after we got back from our Annual trip to the beach to collect some "loot" for Biscuit. Boy hates to keep his shirt on. Maybe he got that from his Dad?

Uh Oh! What Mama? Here she comes to put the shirt back on Boy. No - I'm not cold - really!

NOOOOOO - I don't want my shirt back on! WHY do I HAVE to wear a shirt? It isn't cold outside to me! I'm not outside!
OH MAN!!!!! STUPID SHIRT!!!! Oops - forgot to mention that it is almost 5am when I'm posting this - ergo - the title of this post about elusive sleep - hey - it's called sleep deprivation.

Happy Anniversary........

It is so hard to believe that Big D and I have been married 44 years today! I called Big D to wish him a Happy Anniversary - Yep - he is at the coast fishing! We already bought our gift for this year - a new Leaf Blower! Woo Hoo! Who said romance is dead? I had a very busy day. I picked up a Bagel and Coffee for me and Bry, sat in Bry's truck,(it was cold) to eat and read the paper while he changed the oil in my car (Ava). I used to call her Bessie but after spending well over $1200 on her last year, we upgraded her name to Ava. Then I went to Whole Foods and picked up a few things to assist me in my new eating habits and went for my medical appointment to get my BP checked. It was perfect!!!! Turns out the doctor wanted to see me today and we had a great chat about accountability, new eating habits, working into an exercise program and all that entails - so I will be going to his office once a month to weigh, have my BP checked and follow up on my progress in all those areas. While there, I thought I would post pictures of my regular healthcare team. I inherited my doctor from his Dad who I started going to when I was a young teenager. He gave me my first real physical and I came to care for him very much. He always made me feel he cared for me too. He was a wonderful diagnostician who I feel saved my brother-in-law's life when he found his lung cancer back in the 60's. He turned his practice over to his son who is a few years younger than me when I was about 39 years old..Wow - where did the time go? When I told him I wanted to get pictures for my Blog today - I had to wait for him to get his Dog! He was so excited and I followed him around to his office where he had a child's gate up. He is a rescued Golden Lab named Tobey and I can tell they have bonded. He said he has been bringing him to work with him every day! Then we had to go back to the examining room to get the picture. Of course Tobey smelled Miya on my coat so it took a few minutes to get him settled and away from my coat. It made me smile to see his happy face with his new friend. I also had to get pictures of everyone else - Pam has been with my doctor for as long as I can remember.She has always been so helpful and between the two of them, they helped my mother through her last illness. I will never forget their patience, caring, kindness and consideration through that difficult time. These two have been the constant in this practice all these years. They recently moved into a new location which is much smaller but fresh and new feeling. I love the colors they have picked out and they all say they love it even though there isn't half the room. We can't forget Betsy who greets you when you walk in the door. The waiting room is very small but that is okay because you don't have a very long wait anymore. He has downsized from some of the work he used to do with the City. She is great at the front desk, always has a smile on her face and is willing to answer all kinds of questions. Darlene used to be at the front desk and is now the person who takes my blood, checks my BP, temp, weight, etc.,. I love her hair. When I first met her, her hair was very short. When I commented on how long her hair is getting she told me she is going to grow it out to at least her waist.I asked her if she was going to donate it for wigs and she said she thought she would. I'm looking forward to watching her progress over the next year. Since I'll be going in once a month - I'll be able to watch it grow. My sister and her husband haven't seen the new offices yet and she always asks me about them when we talk. She hates change more than anyone I've ever met and no matter how much I tell her it is nice, she frets about it. :-) I also spotted Clara working away on the computer and got off a quick snap shot. Lisa didn't want her picture made - Pam took one of her from behing but I decided to respect her feelings about not having her picture made. Everyone else seemed to be in a great mood and excited to have their picture made today. I think I was a little contagious - I was so happy with my new report and my doctor was so happy with his new dog and they are all so happy with their new location with the new furniture and fresh paint. I guess we were all just happy - the sun was shining and it was all good. I left there and went to Lowes and the Cleaners at Brier Creek and came home to crash. The dirty dishes were still sitting in the sink so I had to do them after all. I'm going to take Miya back to bed to see if I can get some sleep.

Few more snapshots from November Vacation..

Just a few more pictures from the vacation I want to remember. We didn't take as many this year as we normally do. Sometimes we take too many but I'm getting better at deleting the not so perfect ones.
Page bought Page2 a new Jimi Hendrix tee shirt. Page and Page 2 slept in one of the middle rooms at the cottage and Page said, "This is the first time I've slept in the grown-up room." I had to smile at that because she has been coming here her whole life.
Of course family vacation includes our two babies. They are siblings and we try to get them together when we can. It took them a little longer to settle down this time as there were so many more people but they finally came out of hiding.
Time for crafts! They were making frames. I printed out a picture of the two of them to put in their little frames.

It was nice to listen to Chels play and sing - such a talented young woman. She has written a few songs and she and some friends have even recorded some of them. Little D always enjoys being with her and sometimes playing along.
I've done really well at not putting every picture I took on here so don't judge me! I only have two more from the vacation I want to keep on here. One is of Mae - I just have to keep it here because it makes my heart smile everytime I look at it.
And the last one is of course of our beautiful baby girl. How do you not squeeze that pretty smiling face?
She is just such a little joy. Both of my kids were picky eaters so I love to watch her eat. Her Mom steams all fresh veggies for her and she loves them. Always has that pretty smile on her face. I almost forgot, I was finally able to give Ann the gift Page bought for Biscuit when our family was here a week during the summer.The little earrings are Violets and the stake is for Ann's garden to post beside her violets or even in potted violets. Ann really liked both gifts. Iwill also be posting a few more pictures of some gifts I bought people. One I'll be giving to my friend this evening (I got me one too) and the other will be sent to my niece (unless I can talk her into meeting me somewhere or coming by for a short visit). There is a story behind both gifts and I will relate those when I upload the pictures.