Sunday, November 7, 2010

Grief, Loss, Mourning........

What a beautiful woman - and one who will be missed by many -especially her dear husband. Lora called to let me know that Pat died around 8:55am this morning. This is a picture I took of her last November when she came for the special luncheon. I am so glad I got to spend some time with her this past week. I passed the information on to another of the wonderful friends who was at the luncheon to get the news to the others. I will contact Cat myself since we spoke about her last night. There were others at the luncheon much older so I was a little surprised that she was the one we lost first. Okay - this is the fourth loss since July 28th - and this one took place in the same room as Ruth's brother at hospice. It felt so strange to be back in that room so soon and for a few minutes I almost had a panic attack. I am still home with that nasty migraine and yucky stomach so have too much time on my hand to feel sorry for myself. Have been having a pretty big pity party and decided to look up some information on grief to see if it would help. These are the top three sites I looked at and they all had some good information - some of it overlapping. I already knew all of this but it helped a little to read it again. For anyone who needs it - here are the sites:;;
I also looked at the following poem by Gwen Flowers on grief. I thought it was nice.
by Gwen Flowers
I had my own notion of grief.
I thought it was the sad time
That followed the death of someone you love.
And you had to push through it
To get to the other side.
But I'm learning there is no other side.
There is no pushing through.
But rather,
There is absorption.
And grief is not something you complete,
But rather, you endure.
Grief is not a task to finish
And move on,
But an element of yourself-
An alteration of your being.
A new way of seeing.
A new definition of self.

I communicated with Ann's daughter-in-law last night and today. Michael is walking without a cast and even though he isn't competing next Saturday in Ohio, he is being inducted into the Karate Hall of Fame. He has to make an acceptance speech so I know Naoki will get pictures and hopefully a video of it. Talking with her made me realize I haven't really dealt with (adjusted, accepted, absorbed) the loss of Ann, I am also feeling deep empathy and grief for Ruth and Eileen and their losses, grieving with Gail for Pat as well as anticipating the loss of Jeri. I'm hoping this bad headache and yucky tummy will be gone by tonight and tomorrow will be a good day. BigD is home, I just talked to my beautiful daughter, all my children will be with me in a few weeks in one of my favorite places so I'm thinking - life is good, life is good. Love you Pat.......

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.