Saturday, February 12, 2011

Thirty-one years tonight......

Thirty-one years ago today on Tuesday night around this time, my Mom called to tell me Daddy wasn't breathing. No matter how fast and yet carefully I drove to get to him, no matter how hard the EMTs worked on him, no matter how fast they got him to the hospital with me riding with him in the ambulance, no matter how much I prayed for it, the reality was that he was gone from our lives. He hard turned 65 only five months before and looked so healthy. I felt like a mule had kicked me in the chest and I couldn't breath deeply for a long time. Who would take care of me now?I know - I was married with two children so why would I think that? Because everyone knows a Daddy will always take care of his daughter - no matter how old they are or what happens. Daddy was a complicated man and yet he was one of the strongest men in my life. He could have some very dark moods and I'm not sure his life turned out exactly as he dreamed it would but I do know he was proud of his wife and all of his daughters and their families. He also pushed us to believe in ourselves and expect the best from ourselves. I understand some things so much better now.He had dark, wavy hair with a premature white streak in the front, fair skin and very blue eyes. My son has his eyes and coloring except for his blonde hair. He changed the name of a song from "beautiful, beautiful blue eyes" to "beautiful, beautiful brown eyes" because Mama and everyone of us girls have dark brown eyes like her parents. I didn't know he changed the name of that song until I was grown. He wanted better for him and Mama and his children so he moved away from family and roots and worked jobs he didn't really like to make sure we had more opportunities than he did. He embraced our husbands, loved our children and celebrated every little success any of us had as if they were his own and in a way they were.I love this picture of Daddy when we still lived in the old farm house. He had just gotten up from a nap and was drinking a beer one summer evening. Mama was taking the picture and I love the smile he is giving to her as she snaps it. I remember being in the upstairs bedroom on the front of the house in the summer and every so often I would hear them through the open window on the porch at night after we had gone to bed. If it was a good night, I might not be able to make out what they were saying but every once in awhile I would hear them laugh. That would be a good night and then I could go to sleep. I miss you Daddy..........I miss you much.


  1. I know you miss him, I'm sure it feels just like yesterday, even though it's been years. Love learning about them (he and your mom) through your stories. Love you


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