How is it possible to experience such deep sorrow followed soon after by a happy feeling about something else? It is hard to explain our reactions to life's events at times. I do think it is true that what doesn't kill/destroy us can make us stronger. The being stronger of course comes from the endurance of something hard and coming out the other side intact (and maybe a little wiser). Of course, the older you get, life teaches you the hard way that you can (and will) endure things you might have never dreamed would even happen in your life. I suffered off and on from severe anxiety most of my life without really understanding exactly what it was. I finally saw a commercial with Lucinda Bassett and ordered her tapes. I listened to them and then returned them (they were way too expensive) but I was on my way to understanding what anxiety truly is. Then I purchased a smaller package she had that had a part about fear of flying and between that and some other reading, I came up with exercises, both breathing and mental, that helped me work through things in a healthy and rational way. Learning what agoraphobia really is set me free. I'm very happy we went up to see Douglas, Jessie and Page this weekend. We got on the road Saturday and stopped by the farm to see Ennis on our way out of town. I'm so glad Judy was there and we could hold on to each other for a little while. It brought back painful memories of another time with the two of us being together in the same living room watching someone else in a hospice bed while counting down the last hours and minutes of a beloved ones life. I am glad I was able to kiss Ennis one last time and whisper into her ear how much I loved her and would miss her. Since we had to make a stop in Roxboro, we hooked the GPS up and went on a real adventure. The countryside was gorgeous but it got a little crazy with the GPS having us do u-turns and taking us back and forth until we found the right highway.
We all went over to Ikenberry's Orchard before leaving the area Sunday and I bought some unique gourmet bubble gum. Dwight was hoping to buy some pear preserves but that was the one thing they didn't have. Poor thing - he had his mouth all ready for some.